Being Whiteballed

I absolutely love the food at this Armenian Restaurant in Hollywood. It's a place called Carousel, and it's actually Armenian-Lebanese cuisine. The decor is awful which I take as a good sign: mauve walls, plastic dishes, dusty silk plants, fluorescent lights. Too many people fall for the trendy faux-zen -bamboo-chocolate brown and blue- fusion eateries. I leave those places for the skinny people. We've been eating at Carousel since we moved to L.A. in August of 2006. In my mind, we've done that place a favor. We come often and early, so they can be done with us before the huge crowds of Armenians pour in. We usually bring a few people with us, who, in turn, tell even more people about this place. We order a pretty nice spread: usually some foul, muhumarrah spread, a kebab or two, some salads, maybe even a vegetarian platter. As I see it, we're decent honkies who stay nice and low profile and tip 20%.
Well, here's the rub- we always get the same waiter who will always try to do one less thing for us, just to keep us in our places. My friend, Shlomo, calls it "being whiteballed." I'm sure you all have a story like this.
Maybe you were abused at a Korean restaurant once? Many times?
You know that move where the wait staff recommends the lamest thing possible because they're so convinced of your whiteness. In fact, they withhold the good stuff on the menu from you. I guess they figure, "why would this honky want some of our most legit dishes? Let's just serve them Pad Thai." Well, this is certainly the case with this one surly waiter at Carousel . We know that they serve lavash bread with the appetizers. On one of our first visits to Carousel, we were treated to the lavash bread. I know it's what the Armenians get, too. Since that one occasion, we have been served exclusively pita bread. Not that I dislike pita; it's just an example of us getting white-balled. And, yes, lavash bread is way better. I've interrogated this waiter about the lavash bread on almost every visit, and he vehemently denies that they have ever served lavash bread. It doesn't matter, I keep coming back.

I'm writing this to all of you honkies out there or people like me who look like honkies. This blog is part of my community service. The next time you're in the most legit ethnic dives, do whatever you have to do to let the wait staff know that you wish to eat like the other countrymen in the establishment.
With that said, you might wonder just what happens when you are insistent and in Peru?


Bisq decided to get all Peruvian one night in Cuzco and order the Peruvian delicacy known as Quy al horno(guinea pig). I guess you need to know the time and place for being a honky.