Just the other day, I was looking at a photo of my graduating class from the esteemed yet defunct International Institute of Chinese Medicine in Santa Fe, NM.
My graduating class from Summer 2000 was a motley crew of 6.
Let's see, there was Gary, a middle aged mustached Mormon who had a pretty scary vibe. Duh, he was Mormon. There was me, at 27,the youngest whipper-snapper in the group. There was Mike (a.k.a.Mr. Kitty) my best friend during the 3 years: the default hot guy. There was Shauna, a menopausal crystal wearer from Boulder, CO. with a lip-less smile who'd give anyone the willies. There was a mean-as-hell skinhead, Russel (Mr.Kitty and I called him "George the animal Steele"...behind his back) who dated a pretty Canadian girl with self-esteem issues. And, lastly, a bag lady named Marion who definitely lived in her car in the Whole Foods parking lot.
The school had several other noteworthy (and annoying!) students from all over the world.
Sorry to dispel the myth for anyone reading this who thought my Masters degree came from a prestigious institution. IICM was a twasted crossroads for people looking to get into the business of Eastern healing. Back in 1996, when I was searching for the right Acupuncture school, I guess this otherworldly place which was a combination of the old West, new-age U.F.O. freakishness and a Chinese halfway house appealed to me. It was certainly unlike any scene I had ever dabbled in.
IICM was owned and run by a Chinese married couple, both doctors. They went by the names "Michael" and "Nancy" and were always smiling and getting away with whatever they could with OSHA, the IRS and other law enforcement agencies. After returning from each semester break, an entirely new administration would be there to greet us. There would be notices all over the place about our accreditation being up for review. How reassuring to all of us students.
The school structure was an old adobe house located next to a horse farm. The house had a couple of make-shift classrooms, a trailer beside it which acted as a library and, of course, the student clinic which was also a trailer. The only thing dividing that trailer and the horse farm next door was a very low fence. Often, patients would be lying on the table, zoning out with flies buzzing around them while a horse's head would peer in through the window.
The teachers, for the most part, were excellent. Many of them had to learn English as they simultaneously taught in English. Very Jerry Lewis. Santa Fe, NM, is a strange and unlikely first place for a Chinese person to land in the U.S. We'd meet them just days after they'd arrive from China. Basically, they were indentured servants of Michael's and Nancy's. In return for their green cards, they'd teach for peanuts, orange peels, and whatever scraps were laying around the campus. In the meantime, you might catch Dr. Wang with his pants rolled up to his knees while scrubbing the toilets at lunch break. I wonder if these respectable doctors in China knew beforehand that their position in an American school included janitorial duties! Culturally, they were hilarious. One teacher, Dr. Zhang would wear his work clothes over his silky burgundy pajamas. You could always see a shiny cuff from the p.j.s hanging out below his high-waters. Something about Asian immigrants: there is a high likelihood that their fly is open. Why is that? It's not like they don't wear pants with a zipper fly in China. During the semester, students would throw parties and the Chinese teachers were fixtures at some of the wildest of throw-downs. In fact, their very presence precipitated the craziness. I seem to remember a party that Bisq and I hosted at our place where there was a heated ping-pong tournament going on under the carport in the pouring rain. Meanwhile, inside the apartment, a rubber packer( cyberskin penis) was being passed around with the Chinese teachers in the middle of it all. "Why did they show up to all of these degenerate parties?", you might wonder. In Chinese culture it's very rude not to honor an invitation, so they would invariably show up with some pork party dishes and think that they were attending a typical American party. Looking back, it was pretty remarkable how these people came to this bizarre desert town and immersed themselves into a crowd of rogue Acupuncture students. They were exceptionally courageous, considering how much trouble they could get into in their homeland for unruly public behaviour.
There was rarely a dull moment for us during that time. We made friends with people just because we got a kick out of them. Remember, it was a very limited pool of people. The cliques were downright twasted. There were the homeopathic pill-poppers who were obsessed with parasites - these cliques always included a German or a Brit. There were the rope-head trustafarians who played hacky-sack in the school's parking lot. Most of them were from Colorado. I was friendly with one named Ehrland. He once was a member of a cult in Oregon that drank and bathed in their own urine for the purposes of health. Then there's the random elderly folks who were the freakiest of them all! It goes without saying: the annoying people far outnumbered the tolerable folks.
I can go on and on about IICM. And I will in later blogs. I was just opening Pandora's box, in order to get a blog out today. I hope you enjoyed it.
My graduating class from Summer 2000 was a motley crew of 6.
Let's see, there was Gary, a middle aged mustached Mormon who had a pretty scary vibe. Duh, he was Mormon. There was me, at 27,the youngest whipper-snapper in the group. There was Mike (a.k.a.Mr. Kitty) my best friend during the 3 years: the default hot guy. There was Shauna, a menopausal crystal wearer from Boulder, CO. with a lip-less smile who'd give anyone the willies. There was a mean-as-hell skinhead, Russel (Mr.Kitty and I called him "George the animal Steele"...behind his back) who dated a pretty Canadian girl with self-esteem issues. And, lastly, a bag lady named Marion who definitely lived in her car in the Whole Foods parking lot.
The school had several other noteworthy (and annoying!) students from all over the world.
Sorry to dispel the myth for anyone reading this who thought my Masters degree came from a prestigious institution. IICM was a twasted crossroads for people looking to get into the business of Eastern healing. Back in 1996, when I was searching for the right Acupuncture school, I guess this otherworldly place which was a combination of the old West, new-age U.F.O. freakishness and a Chinese halfway house appealed to me. It was certainly unlike any scene I had ever dabbled in.
IICM was owned and run by a Chinese married couple, both doctors. They went by the names "Michael" and "Nancy" and were always smiling and getting away with whatever they could with OSHA, the IRS and other law enforcement agencies. After returning from each semester break, an entirely new administration would be there to greet us. There would be notices all over the place about our accreditation being up for review. How reassuring to all of us students.
The school structure was an old adobe house located next to a horse farm. The house had a couple of make-shift classrooms, a trailer beside it which acted as a library and, of course, the student clinic which was also a trailer. The only thing dividing that trailer and the horse farm next door was a very low fence. Often, patients would be lying on the table, zoning out with flies buzzing around them while a horse's head would peer in through the window.
The teachers, for the most part, were excellent. Many of them had to learn English as they simultaneously taught in English. Very Jerry Lewis. Santa Fe, NM, is a strange and unlikely first place for a Chinese person to land in the U.S. We'd meet them just days after they'd arrive from China. Basically, they were indentured servants of Michael's and Nancy's. In return for their green cards, they'd teach for peanuts, orange peels, and whatever scraps were laying around the campus. In the meantime, you might catch Dr. Wang with his pants rolled up to his knees while scrubbing the toilets at lunch break. I wonder if these respectable doctors in China knew beforehand that their position in an American school included janitorial duties! Culturally, they were hilarious. One teacher, Dr. Zhang would wear his work clothes over his silky burgundy pajamas. You could always see a shiny cuff from the p.j.s hanging out below his high-waters. Something about Asian immigrants: there is a high likelihood that their fly is open. Why is that? It's not like they don't wear pants with a zipper fly in China. During the semester, students would throw parties and the Chinese teachers were fixtures at some of the wildest of throw-downs. In fact, their very presence precipitated the craziness. I seem to remember a party that Bisq and I hosted at our place where there was a heated ping-pong tournament going on under the carport in the pouring rain. Meanwhile, inside the apartment, a rubber packer( cyberskin penis) was being passed around with the Chinese teachers in the middle of it all. "Why did they show up to all of these degenerate parties?", you might wonder. In Chinese culture it's very rude not to honor an invitation, so they would invariably show up with some pork party dishes and think that they were attending a typical American party. Looking back, it was pretty remarkable how these people came to this bizarre desert town and immersed themselves into a crowd of rogue Acupuncture students. They were exceptionally courageous, considering how much trouble they could get into in their homeland for unruly public behaviour.
There was rarely a dull moment for us during that time. We made friends with people just because we got a kick out of them. Remember, it was a very limited pool of people. The cliques were downright twasted. There were the homeopathic pill-poppers who were obsessed with parasites - these cliques always included a German or a Brit. There were the rope-head trustafarians who played hacky-sack in the school's parking lot. Most of them were from Colorado. I was friendly with one named Ehrland. He once was a member of a cult in Oregon that drank and bathed in their own urine for the purposes of health. Then there's the random elderly folks who were the freakiest of them all! It goes without saying: the annoying people far outnumbered the tolerable folks.
Some of the classes were a hoot. One of the point location courses was a practicum in which you find the Acupuncture points on a partner's body. And you'd better choose your partner wisely. The first point on the Ren Meridian is on the taint, for chrissake!
As hard as I try, I cannot erase the memory Shauna (freaky menopausal from my graduating class) on all fours in front of Mr. Kitty, who got a rear-view of something that you'd expect to see on a baboon. Mr. Kitty and I have spent the last 10 years referring to her as "ashen beaver." I told you this blog would get R-rated, sooner or later.I can go on and on about IICM. And I will in later blogs. I was just opening Pandora's box, in order to get a blog out today. I hope you enjoyed it.
2 comments:
This blog is like being with you except I can't see your boobs.
That was the most twastiest blog yet. And I always thought IICM was too legit to quit. As a great southern Jew once said "It all depends on how you spin the dreidle".
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